I’m scared. I want to go home even though this place is absolutely amazing. It doesn’t feel right here, even if I’m better off here in Colorado than Burke.
I feel absolutely pathetic thinking that. That I actually want to go back to Burke. I must be insane to think that. Why in the world would I fucking want to go back to the hell hole that almost destroyed me….
I guess, I guess I honestly don’t want myself to be happy. Maybe that’s why I want to go back to Burke. Thankfully, God doesn’t want that for me and he wants me here, happy.
I’m sick. I know that. But, I can’t help but think, how I’m going to end up being like after this experience. Am I going to like it? Or will I just let myself destroy my thoughts again?