Perfection is my Imperfection

Perfection: The condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects. Perfection isn't me. But throughout my childhood, I've heard countless times that I'm close to perfection. I contradict myself in every way yet I always seem to say what I mean. I think of myself in the lowest possible way. I don't think I'm pretty nor do I think I'm worth the time but I'm trying to break free. I bottle everything up. I don't care that it pisses you off that I don't trust you easily. I self-inflict pain to myself through words. Thoughts in my mind. It's poisonous but I can't seem to stop. I'm done pretending. This is my blog and I'm telling the truth here. It's not fair. My life isn't. I never get what I want. I'm never happy. I put others before me, all the time. Even if they want the same thing as me. I'll let them have it. You could said that I cause myself the most pain, and you know what? You're probably right. If I was more selfish, I probably wouldn't be like this. But 2013 is my year. I just know it. % chance of snow    Tell me a story? :)